Amichai has high muscle tone that runs down his right side – but most of it is concentrated in his hand. His thumb tends to close inward into his palm and his hand is sometimes fisted even in a resting state. What makes this even more challenging is that the muscle tone increases as Amichai attempts any activity with his right hand. So, when Amichai wants to open his hand to hold an object, he must overcome the tone firing back at him from all fronts. This makes it difficult to get a grip.

But Amichai has a trick.

Make a fist. Hold it as tightly as you can. Then take your other hand and press down with your index finger and other thumb on the bottom joint of your fisted thumb. What happened? Your fisted thumb came loose. Magic. Not really, it’s physiology – that’s just how the muscles work. Pretty cool. Early on – when Amichai was still a baby, his PT and OT gave me exercises to help open up his hand. Always start with the thumb they told me. Once you can get the thumb free, its easier to get the rest of the hand open.

But the thing is, I never taught Amichai this trick. He figured it out on his own. It was sometime last year, I was watching him try to collect some items and he needed two hands. Instinctively he took his left hand and pressed down on his right thumb – his hand opened, he placed the object in his right palm and carried on without missing a beat. I stood there a bit surprised, a bit dumbfounded, but thoroughly impressed. I would never have figured that one out on my own. I remember asking him what he did. He gave me a look that I fear I will see again in later years – a look I give still give my own parents when it seems like they have just asked me the most ridiculous question imaginable. The only thing missing was the eye roll. He stared me down and simply said – I was helping my right hand Mommy.

Right. Duh.

For over a year now, Amichai has used this trick to get his hand open. At first, his OT wasn’t bothered by it, but after giving it more thought – she decided she wasn’t so thrilled. She feels he has the capacity to open his hand without the help – he doesn’t need the trick. And truth be told, Amichai has become quite proficient at opening his right hand independently to grasp smaller or thinner objects. The fact that he can do this almost effortlessly today is directly attributed to the countless hours Amichai’s OT has spent working with him and even more importantly – her belief in him that he CAN do it. It is a gift to work with professionals who believe as deeply as I do in Amichai’s capabilities.

Amichai’s OT is top rate. I trust and follow her advice. I encourage Amichai to open his right hand without the help of his left hand as she has instructed, but honestly – and at the risk of getting lectured by her – I don’t necessarily discourage the trick. The irony is not lost on me. I’m the person who will never choose the short cut. I put my head down and just go to work. I preach that hard work will pay off. And when it comes to Amichai’s therapies, I have always made sure that the people working with him know its ok to push him. Bring it.

So why am I letting him off the hook? Because its not that he’s getting away with something – its that he’s figured a way out of the box. When our kids our stuck, we tell them to think and be inventive. We want them to be resourceful. More so, repeatedly I have heard from numerous physical and occupational therapists, that hemis (kids who are hemiplegic) are the hardest to work with – the reason being: they manage just fine. These kids have a functioning body and don’t want to be told how to hold something the right way or walk a certain way – they can figure it out with instincts and creativity…so move out their way.

What I’ve learned as a parent to one of these stubborn hemi kids, is that the real key is finding a balance between providing them with the necessary framework of therapies and then letting them adapt that framework to the real world. Understanding how to modify, revise and then modify again is an imperative lesson of life. Amichai is learning that now and it will serve him well… because in the real world, sometimes you need to be quick on your feet. Sometimes you just need to get the job done in whatever way you can. Sometimes you need a trick or two up your sleeve.